The Pendulum Keeper

From the previous entries, a soul seeking passion in an arid sphere, to find it, the elements of desire combining to fuel a passion and just as instantly as it blazed, the fire died, leaving just a suffocating smoke and the memories frozen in tears...

That child had grown now,
and learned to dance
but then the music changed,
it became faster, faster,
suddenly,
she lost her footing and fell
she kept falling
when the pendulum keeper caught her ...

There it is again, that pendulum,
the dark handsome keeper,
catching hold of her
as it swung sharply and quickly
faster and faster
from the light into the night
she no longer knew
the dream from the being
the illusion from the truth
this pendulum dragged her mind
back and forth
she asked herself
am I the creature from the light
or am I
the creator of the night.

Not knowing what she saw
in that mirror,
herself split in half
half of her made of day
the other half born of the night
which was the reflection
what was the truth
only time can tell
when the pendulum
will cease its constant swinging
or
maybe she is the master of the keeper
pushing him
to continue the chaotic frenzied swinging
balancing this spin
into eternity
from the light into the night.

Can I see in the night
or am I blind in the light?
What is my truth,
these memories back and forth
like waves on a vast endless ocean
Ah the stimuli,
a pulse,
a heartbeat,
his kiss
his smile,
playing over and over
again in her head.

Swinging recklessly on this pendulum
she remembers his shouts
and - then his kiss,
she looks into the mirror
to see her tears,
until,beyond her
caught in that frozen relcetion
she sees them
they glisten in his eyes
un-cloaked,
finally revealed his fears.

Now even more aware of his pain
'God knows how much I love you!'
she cries
to the wind,
her words are whispered to the trees
tears again,
a caress,
a hug then his kiss...


Back and forth,
ceaselessly it swings
everything
in their world has gone amiss
looking into the depth and pain
of those handsome eyes.

She longs to caress to comfort
to kiss that mouth one more time
whispering gently into his ear
how much she longs for him,
in his eye glistens a tear
As darkness swings into light
she tries to conceal
that teardrop from the day
frozen in the night

letting go is sometimes the most difficult...

Ambushed- The tables have turned

How can I pen this feeling
to put into words
this dull ache that haunts my mind.
Denying that I love,
lying to my soul.

How do I express this thought
when I am bonded irreversibly
how can I unravel the cloth of this relation
that I myself wove into my heart?

In such a short time
an entire saga played out,
so many star crossed moments
too many misunderstandings
To be cast aside now.

The thought that punishes my mind
how can you walk away so calmly,
ripping this relation to shreds.
A torrent of feeling,
reckless , hidden behind a wall,
broken now,
You left, without thought.
Drowning now, realizing the blunder,
in illusion
I wonder...

How can you walk away so calmly
without turning back
once,
To snare, like the Ego of the flame,
that demands the moth come closer,
wanting only to be adored,
The moth eagerly surrenders
This Flame, filled with that ego
indifferently,
will singe the wings
and destroy this creature
that desperately succumbed.

Without singed wings
now can one dare to fly,
left defeated, A bitter taste
pervades as I am left now
picking up the shards?
Enticed and snared
Risking a chance, I stumbled blindly
and you weren't there.

Time will cast what is form now
into but a shadow,
To appear suddenly and dance
against the back of my mind
at an unguarded moment
in years to come...

Tied now to the unrelenting
reality of the present,
I am faced with the immortal dilemma of
what is apparent, but tell me,
How can you?
Why did you dare?

Nandi
Denying, defeated and rather optimistic

03-24-09